i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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