someone get that fucking seahorse.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
