In the future we'll all be gay
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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