On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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