I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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