If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
