I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
