So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
