I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
