Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
A+ Viking dick
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
