holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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