plz talk dirty to me
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
