You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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