Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have feelings that need drinking.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
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