I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
