Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
