I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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