There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
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