he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
