Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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