Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
it glows. i had to have it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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