I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
