Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
