I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
