dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
40s are totally the cure
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
