It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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