apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize