I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Randomize
