Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
