omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
