Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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