Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
