For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
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