I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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