we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
