you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
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I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
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Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
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