If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult