about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize