I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
