I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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