i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
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whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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