Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
