It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
