My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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