Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
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would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
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May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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