i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
