Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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