You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
