I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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