So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
