Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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