no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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