Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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