I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
