His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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